Contents

Introduction

PART ONE -- A COURSE DIVERGED

   Early Times When the Different Path Was Defined

   Searching: Life in the Gay Scene

   A New Direction

   Ann's Reflections: Views of a Fellow Traveler

PART TWO -- PERSONAL LEARNING, NATURE VS. NURTURE,

AND THE HISTORY OF GAY ACTIVISM

   Open to Learning

   Nature, Nurture, and the Contribution of the Individual

   Fluidity of Gender Identity and Role

   How "Gay Is Good" Came to Be: The Rise of Gay Activism, Andre Gide to Franklin Kameny

   From the Stonewall Rebellion to the Legalization of Gay Marriage

PART THREE -- HOMOSEXUALITY: HOW IT EVOLVES AND WHY MEN PURSUE OTHERS OF THEIR OWN GENDER EROTICALLY

   Toward an Integrative Theory

   Early Wounding and Defensive Detachment: Identification Derailed by Trauma

   Possible Causes of Emotional Wounding

   Self-Soothing and Its Influence on the Development of Sexual Preference

   Homophobia: Fear, Shame, and Secrecy versus the Press to "Come Out"

   Coming Out Authentically

PART FOUR -- NEW PERSPECTIVES

   The Homosexual Complex: A Confusing Mix of Multiple Types of Human Love-Need

   Gender Identity: The Core Need Underlying Same-Gender Sexuality

   Same-Gender Attraction: Not a Curse, but a Blessing, the Impetus to Achieve Gender Maturity

 

PART FIVE -- WHAT MEN DESIRING TO GROW BEYOND HOMOSEXUALITY NEED TO KNOW AND DO

   Relying on the Spirit

   The Mind and the Brain: Theoretical Considerations

   The Mind and the Brain: Strategies

   Following the Heart

   Heterosexual Helpers

   Defensive Detachment

PART SIX -- RESTART AND RENEWAL

   Growth Beyond Gay: Incremental Personal Change

   Change Others Have Experienced

   Ann's Reflections on Our Life Together

   A New Sexuality

   These Days

   Reconciliation: From Different and Apart to Unity and Identity

   Afterword

Recommended Reading

Index

Bibliography